Q & A with a therapist

This is a post that has been under construction for a while in my notes, I may do more in the future. 

Students ask questions of me, often when they discover I am in practice as not all of their professors are.

Some of the questions asked are the same as what friends or family will ask, when their curiosity grows.

Do you get angry with patients, do you cry, are you afraid of any of your patients, do you call them patients…

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Maladaptive personality shaping from the parent.

Narcissism, this is a difficult disorder. The person is very self absorbed. Self obsessed. Selfish. A strong sense of superiority. Uniqueness, requiring praise, entitlement. Will feel no regret taking advantage of others for their own gain. Arrogant. When criticized will rebel. Empathy is not one of their tools, lying perhaps will be. Self esteem is actually quite low. Someone with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is very unlikely to seek help as they do not feel there is anything amiss with them.

Why bring this up?

What about the child of a Narcissistic Parent? Or Parents as they often attract one another.
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it isn’t rocket science, that is easy.

A Porsche technician was removing a computer chip from one of the many components on the engine of a Spyder when he spotted a well-known Psychologist in his shop. The Psychologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at her car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”

The Psychologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its brain, tinkered with the memory, adjusted the wiring, reprogrammed its pathways and when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it our wages are not equal when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The Psychologist paused, leaned over and whispered to the technician , “Try doing it with the engine running.”



Marketing.. or is it lack there of?

Product size changes.

hmmm, change is good? I mean when things are going along just fine and dandy, we should change the sizes of packages, make them smaller. It is the wise thing to do. Give people less and charge … uhm more? Yup that is a good plan.


no one will notice


Ground beef. I have a beef with this package size change. It is ANNOYING.  where is my explanation mark. !

A while ago, bacon changed from 500 grams to 375. But we found, at costco, better bacon than we were buying, still packed in the 500 gram package, and it is less costly.

So the hamburger people said, that was such a great idea, lets do this too.


Ok, so I plan on making a meat loaf, the recipe in my head calls for 500 grams…. about a pound of ground beef. Most recipes seem to follow with using a pound of ground beef when you follow along, it is a good amount.

But now the package of ground beef they were advertising at such a great price…. when you read the size… was only 375 grams….

Do I add extra bread crumbs?

another egg?

lots of extra seasoning?


me thinks… someone in marketing land…. is a total idiot.

When we buy ground beef to make hamburgers, which we did last night, and they were yummy, a 375 gram package, will only make three burgers. Jill doesn’t get one?

She will be annoyed. We will have to hide when we eat ours, so as not to upset her….

We should make extra french fries?

When the marketing person feels bad about their silliness and it torments them, when they come for therapy, I will have five minute sessions for them, so as not to upset them.

I will of course invoice them  for an hour. You know, to keep with their trend.





I forgot to add a title.

You know what to do

The stages, the feelings, you understand them, probably more than most others do.

You have experienced them, too often.

You understand how they vary.

How confusing they can be.

But you know this.

Anger, sadness, frustration… Migraines, powerful ones.


Sometimes laughing or smiling as you remember something.

Because memories are flying through your head at speeds even you are surprised at.

Memories you thought you had lost.

You hear their voice, you see their smile, you feel their hug.

And you cry again.

You try to be strong, because you know that they would want this.

They never liked to see you sad.


You can’t help it

even though you know

you remember the last visit you had with them

you wish there had been more

You compose poems in your mind.

Prose, praise, funny stories.

and then you cry

Sometimes you feel like your head is going to explode.

Migraines are like that.

Then you remember they had them too.

so many memories swimming by


awakening other memories, other losses.

You try to imagine them together now

Standing beside one another, watching you with a smile

And you bawl.

You know this will pass.

The pain will lessen.

fade away, replaced by the fond memories.

You will always feel them inside, you can peek there at them.

Now I will see the two of them, standing beside each other.

I know they missed each other.

They were very close.

But now it is hard.


Sunny Sunday

Spring finally fell on us. uhm, sprang? springed? sproing? bounced in? eeeeps.

Well it is here. Finally, actually it felt more like summer today, which is good too. Spring springs, fall falls, winter lasts forever and summer does what? hmmm. Well it doesn’t last long enough, of that I am certain. 

We had a great summer like evening last night, company came over, we had a mixed grill on the bbq. Which is a great way to finish a day. Some of my roomies seemed to have a lot of fun last night too, not as much fun this morning I think though. I was sneaking out quietly this morning to get some grass seed to over seed our lawn with, now that it is growing, now that spring finally showed up, whilst they slept in after springing so much, uhm sproinging? 

Aimee decided to come with, tis good to have someone to operate the radio. She asked where we were going, I said I was planning on getting some grass seed. When she finished adjusting the radio she looked around wondering where the grass seed store was that we were going to.

Oh we aren’t getting grass seed right now I told her.

Ok, so where are we going?

I pointed up.

It was just too beautiful a day, clear sky… gentle breeze…

She smiled.

Less than an hour later we went by our house again, to check out the lawn… it actually looked good from a thousand feet. 

Aimee said it was too bad we didn’t pick up the grass seed we could have spread it quite easily from there. eeeeeps.

We landed at a smaller airport and Aimee noticed a familiar car driving up, she smiled again and we had lunch with her mom. She didn’t have any grass seed though, so we had to leave. 

We did finally manage to buy a sack o seed on the way home though. Do you know how many sizes it comes in? We bought a ten kg bag, we have a lot of lawn to over seed, I bet it will go fast. 

Now we will need rain, sheish, then the grass will grow and we will have to cut it, is green cement expensive? 



Marriage is a pairing, a union, no one owns this word.

Trees Marry

The grey fades
branches shiver together
in the morning wind
shaking off the morning dew
intertwined together.
glowing with the morning sun
the radiance beaming upon them
warming with its power
the two trees stand proud
their branches melded together.

Facing the world, standing proud
their leaves flutter gently in the wind.
for as long as they could remember
they stood beside one another
branches growing closer
interweaving, meshing
becoming one, together.

Watching the world unfold
trying to understand
how this word
describing their union
became so complex
so embattled
when it is just a union
when two join
to become one.

How did this word
become so complex?
when it is so simple
tis a union
a pairing
two joining
becoming one.