He was always there

There are dates in time that always awaken, memories and emotions.
When I mentioned to someone special, that more were reading my blog than I could imagine.
She told me to just write from my heart Amber. My heart is big and always happy, but sometimes those
dates arrive and tickle it a bit. This is one of those days.

This is probably my most personal post yet and having completed it earlier in the week and setting it to auto publish today, it was very therapeutic. Oh I used a lot of tissues of that you can be sure.
As this is published I am at that place that was and still is so magical, now with my special friends and Mom and a puppy too, building more memories on our island retreat.

***********

Today’s blog is for one person. He may not read it, but I read it to him a lot this week.

Background Music

as I grew up some things I was sure of each and every day,
some things could be counted upon, a certainty for me.

knowing he is there

When I was at a parade, jumping, hopping and trying to peek,
his strong hands would always appear and lifted me up so high.
Letting me see all the magical things and all else I so did seek,
sitting upon his shoulders, above all the rest, smiles would quickly apear.
Always happy, always content that he was so near.

Looking up at a tree, the leaves so green, the sky so blue,
questions I always had, why is this, why is that, why oh why oh why.
The answers always came, on this I could count, his soft voice so deep and true,
it filled my mind with the answers I sought each and every one.
Because he knew everything and that I could count upon.

Riding my bike so happy and proud, faster and faster always on a race,
and then I would tumble and crash, with elbows scraped and little cuts on my knees.
Off I would go, searching for him with tears on my cheeks, limping carefully with my sad face.
A careful wipe, a band aid here or there, but it was aways fixed with a hug
He always knew just what to do, it still gives my heart a tug.

knowing he was always there.

Running home with my report card oh so proud and happy waving it over my head,
charging into the house, glancing all around, then seeing him there with a smile on his face.
I would dash toward him with arms spread so wide but stop to show him the paper instead,
grinning at him so… His smile widening as I knew it would, but it still made my heart swell.
Knowing he is proud and as excited as me while reading the marks, “Oh princess you did so well”

A weekend arrives and things are packed and off we all go, to the cottage where we all belong,
quietly watching out the window, my excitement building so so much with each passing tree.
Knowing soon we will be there, the lake was waiting, no work no school I will have him all weekend long,
for fishing, swimming, canoeing too.. and then at night gathered for that very special campfire
The quiet times the fun times there were so many, it seems of that we never seemed to tire.

Sitting in a boat my rod held very tight, staying so quiet even whispering yet,
and then my rod would twitch and bend, and I would hear him call out:
“Hang on princess you’ve got a big one, bring him over to the net”
Smiling so much as he frees the fish and carefully holding it up a showing me what I caught
the tiny fish looks so small but he tells me its so great, memories like that, they just can’t be bought.

My hook now empty dangling there, the bait has vanished, but just as before he hears my wish,
takes my hook while smiling atas i sit  so still  keep the rod from moving,  for my Dad.
The worm is fastened.. I don’t know how, but once my hook makes a splash and I am ready to fish,
Calling out to him .. “aren’t you going to fish too?” Then my rod twitches as I have caught another one.
Hearing him laff and telling me “Oh no you are catching them all”. looking back those days were so much fun.

nods, because he is was there

Teaching me to swim, water ski, ride a bike and even to fly in the sky,
he knows it all, he is so smart there is nothing he couldn’t answer.
I would wake at night and think of things and call to him and ask why,
then there he would be instantly and put my mind to rest, tucking me in with little kiss.
Safe and sound knowing that he was there. There is so much now that I really do miss.

Drive a car, dance so great, do this or do that, there is nothing he didn’t know,
catch a ball, skate on ice he knew it all and showed me how with so much patience.
And always telling me I did so great, with each lesson he gave to me, I love him so.
when ever we did compete, it always seemed I would beat him each and every time.
I would look over at him, sure to see that special grin on his face, oh that Dad of mine.


Even there when he met a boyfriend, shaking his hand with a nice greeting,
winking at me and making me blush but never teasing, well not then.
Waiting for me to be sure I arrived home safe, the night seemed so fleeting.
and with a “Good night princess and a sleep well please” each and every night he said.
some things stick with you, those spoken words and memories all stuck in my head.

Always there for this and that, stern at times when I tested but never for long you see,
love was there oh so much of it, never judged, always praised, he always knew what to do.
My car was broken, my bike wouldnt go, my hair was a mess or I skinned my knee,
he knew what to do and always would too, because he was always there.
For hugs, and Christmases, birthdays to. Time passes and so did he… it just isn’t fair.


Looking at my bed now as my finger click on the keys, for I am almost done,
the teddy bear nestled between my pillows, remembering the day he did arrive.
“His name is prince” he told me that day “because every princess deserves one”,
my laughter was sweet as I hugged him oh so tight and carefully kept him with me all this time.
His picture on my wall, watching over me as I sleep, my head is full with memories, of that dad of mine.

i love you daddy

i miss you

 

 

**********

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About sensuousamberville

I am a Practitioner, teacher and student. I think we should always be students, we should keep our minds open, to continue to learn. :-)

3 responses »

  1. Hugs and holds you tight….the clock not moving…..you are a princess amber and your father is so very, very proud of you! What a beautiful, heartfelt post. Love always.

    ‘chelle

    Reply
  2. Katie (transplanted)

    I am glad you have those memories…any parent that can have their child write of them in such a way is lucky. And it also means they have done a fine job raising their children. You honor both you and your da with this…

    Reply
  3. *hugs ya* Very lovely sweetie..

    Reply

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