Dates in time
Celebrations and parties, gifts and smiles…
Many Anniversaries are memories of events, perhaps sad or sour memories.
Memories of when just saying …no
doesn’t seem to mean no
It is disturbing, that someone feels they have the right to take things that they are not welcome to.
Are they so special that this is acceptable?
somethings stolen may not be property, but self respect self worth… innocence… and so much more.
I am going to toss out some numbers, as these will shock many.
These are from the U of T
Four out of five female undergraduate students reported that they had been victims of violence in a dating relationship
Sixty percent of Canadian college-age males reported that they would commit a sexual assault if they were certain that they would not be caught ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????? are you serious?
Fifty-one percent of all Canadian women have experienced at least one incident of sexual or physical violence. Close to 60% of these women have survived more than one violent incident.
Now from another other source
The New York Times
Nearly one in five women surveyed said they had been raped or had experienced an attempted rape at some point, and one in four reported having been beaten by an intimate partner.
It is disturbing. Obviously. Mostly, because of the long lasting impact on the victim. Short term there is devastation, and fear. When this subsides, the haunting feeling lingers. Often physical illnesses will arise, asthma, IBS…
And then there are the mental effects.. the depression, over vigilance, the lack of self worth or confidence. the suicides.
it is so terrible
And so many don’t report it, or suppress it.
The lack of sleep, flash backs always tormenting. haunting you in such a terrible way.
all so some uhm… person.. can have a brief moment of pleasure? gawds
It is such a touchy subject. not one that people like to speak of openly or in public.
when they do, they are scorned, no one wants to hear about it.
move on, it is over with, you are ok….
but are you? I have my doubts.
Because the numbers are so high, I am sure many that stumble across this will know first hand of what I am going on about. *so gives you a soft hug and a smile*, I believe you.
please, don’t bottle it up, no one can make the memory or the event go away. But it is not something to try to contain, or hide.
seek help if it torments you, and I know it does. *nods slowly*, I knows
I was introduced to someone a while back, someone that had just experienced an event. My roommate thought I could help her work through it, to gather her up and rebuild her.
In this case there was no penetration. But often there isn’t. But the event still has happened and the lack of this final insult doesn’t make it any less traumatic, and a in few more moments there probably would have been penetration. So the fear grows. The event is still traumatic, the violation has happened.
people point and whisper
the s word is often used, a word I hate so much. I won’t even type it. It is the worst of the four letter words. Just because we want to look nice, to be happy… it is not an open invitation to take. And that label.. that word.. not even in fun do I like it.
So because of the ostracizing, so many keep it hidden.
But this girl had a good friend, Megan. She knew I could help, and with care we moved on. Oh there are at times, flashes in her eyes when memories spring. But she is strong now and harnesses them, and she is filled with love again and knows she is loved.
And through that date in time.. that event… that anniversary that is here.. also brought us together, the silver lining in that cloud of despair.
so why have I wasted all your time with this?
Because those numbers are so high. And when they are not reported.. they happen again.. and again…
so be strong if you can, and I understand if you can’t… but try to let someone know, someone strong you can depend on. And don’t bottle it up. *hugs you again* It wasn’t your fault. but maybe you can keep it from happening to another person… points to the line way up there.. if not caught 60% would do it.
Oh I know, for those that it may have happened to recently and stumbled across this post with hope.. I have probably given you little.. but you are not alone and there is a lot of help out there.. you may think you don’t need it, but I know it will help.. whispers.. I really know.
How did Megan know I could help? well of course we were roommates even then, and she knew my studies.. but she also knew more..
*nods* I have an anniversary as well.
looks at that 60% with anger and loathing