With the recent blogs I want to jump up and down with some words too. Toss them into the pool of thot.. murk up the water a bit.
Not sure why, as the topic has been covered well, and the comments have added a lot to the topic. Well, I do know why.
But.. oh well, maybe a different spin will emerge.
omg, what is that?
it sounds yucky.
hmmm, perhaps that is the problem.
This is the sum of your beliefs and ideas that you have about yourself. This collection of thoughts and images that you feel make yourself up and becomes intertwined with how you start to be.
nods, be, an interesting term. How you see yourself shapes the way you act and it grows, shaping who you are. Who you will become.
Your self schema forms during childhood, this is when you determine good and bad and how it shapes you. This is the learning phase for everything, good and bad, beautiful and ugly.
Hmmm, lets go with a definition:
Self-Schema: A self-schema is a belief or idea about oneself that leads to a bias that is self-perpetuating. It could consist of a particular role in society or a generalization based on social sterotypes. If a mother tells her daughter she looks like a tom boy, her daughter may react by choosing activities that she imagines a tom boy would do. Conversely, if the mother tells her she looks like a princess, her daughter might choose activities thought to be more feminine. The self-schema becomes self-perpetuating when the individual chooses activities based on expectations instead of desires.
How do we truly know what is good or bad, we learn it, how do we know what is beautiful, we like something… based on what? Do we like something because others like it, so we know it is hmmm liked? or do we let go and say… I like that, and I don’t care what others think.
We do when we are honest. But how do you be honest yourself?
Once your self schema forms, people can tell you that you are great, you may not believe it. You smile and nod and dismiss it.
What shapes your self image, your self schema, just input from others? yes… and….
No, your personality does as well. Another example. A workaholic, overachiever, someone that is very critical, a perfectionist, well they can’t be pleased, so they keep failing. They start to see themselves, often, as failures. Developing a negative self image, shaping their self schema, and then they know they are a failure, so why try.
So can you change it?
Well you can do anything, but it took years to develop your self image, it may take a while to modify it.
Some things shape it that are harder to change, overcome.
Other things shape it.
More examples. Perhaps you have OCD, ADD, Bipolar… and on and on hmm, traits, ( notice i omitted the word disorder – I dislike labels. they stick) This can shape your self image strongly. And in a negative fashion. Why? now don’t get me wrong, but so what? how about instead… I had a great challenge and overcame it. I am so great. I CAN DO ANYTHING. Because you can. whispers.. you really can.
And you can change your self image, your self schema. It isnt your id, it is mold-able. You can shape it. Work at it. modify it.
But it forms in childhood, when you start thinking about yourself. And children are so critical of each other, this spreads. It is a social thing. If we were all more loving, and understanding, would we all be more healthy mentally? YES
But during childhood some things happen, abandonment, abuse, deprived, neglected, ignored…. This shapes it a lot.
So it may be time for a reshaping.
This is an incredibly deep subject, and I am hardly skimming it.
What made you who you are.
How do you see yourself. You are overweight, you are too thin, your hair sucks, too many freckles, glasses…
look at the forest, is every tree the same?
Wouldn’t it be terrible if they were?
This frustrates me so much, you are who you are inside. You can’t change the outside. You are beautiful.
If you really feel you are overweight… it can be changed, but do it slow, a better diet, join a walking group. You meet the friendliest people when out walking. And many do it in malls, so the floors are even and the weather is perfect.
see, no excuses. but do it slow, so you dont give up, become frustrated. But… are you truly overweight? No, don’t just nod, I saw that. Or do you think you just are, because Sara is thin and popular. Or because the models on the catwalks are so slender…. omg please don’t fall in that trap.
But exercise, *nods lots* it truly makes you feel great. A workout charges you up so much.
Inside though, is where it matters, because that is who you are. As we all get older we change, some of us become more beautiful on the outside, and we keep getting older, we can’t help that, beauty is measured inside more and more as we age, because soon, Sara.. down the road will be older, maybe some wrinkles.. her red hair may be dyed… age is the great equalizer.
So start measuring your inner beauty now. Don’t wait. Project it, let it radiate.
you are who you are, and you are beautiful. I keep saying that… listen.. no.. truly listen, stop everything and look inside. see? You are great! Project that, believe it. Be it.
True beauty exists inside you, anyone can look nice, but not everyone can be nice.