Self Harm

Trigger warning.

This is probably my most serious blog to date. I am going to discuss something many of you may not have heard of, hopefully not seen, hopefully not done. But should be aware of and I want you to understand why and not to judge.

If you are going to leave any comments on this Post, and I hope you do. Supportive only please. 

I hope when you have read this, you understand more.

The first part of this post is to bring awareness to what is happening in shadows. Possibly a bit why, and to provide an understanding, hopefully to eliminate judgement.

Later in the blog, I hope to offer something to the long sleeves. I say that with compassion, not ridicule. I don’t ridicule or judge. I am empathetic, I feel what you feel.

Ok there is a lot of confusion now, I am sure.

Self harm, what is it. Is it really what it sounds like?


Self harm, cutting, burning.. more, it is addicting. It is a release. For deep frustration, distress. Levels you can’t begin to comprehend.

First, it is not a suicide attempt. Often it is the reverse, an attempt to avoid that pull, to stay alive.

There are different reasons for this pull, the desire to harm. To cope with overwhelming feelings, or to just pull yourself back to reality. Literally, to help focus, remove the fugue, a dissociative feeling, like you not in your body or it is split. It is confusing. I know. And you are having a hard time comprehending how this can be.

Sometimes it is self punishment, not always, sometimes it is to release endorphin’s, adrenaline, an emotional release.

It is not really a cry for help, if it was, it wouldn’t be hidden. many have tried help, and have not received it. but it is a cry for help. 

FRUSTRATION GROWS… Unbelievable frustration. you reach out for help … and you don’t get it. HOW WOULD THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THAT?

There are reasons why someone will get to this state, most are young, pre teen, teens.. not all though. An event will often bring this about. Disturbing events, events that a young mind can’t deal with. Events that SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN… but do. Events that ruin lives. 

They are called PTSD. nice to have a little label isn’t it?

post traumatic stress disorder. Just a few harmless little words. 

To apply to something like sexual assault, rape, bullying, assault, abuse and war. war, sounds terrible, we know what that is. but things that are committed, to a young body…. mind…. to deal with it. how can they?

Do you know if they are dealing with it? are those really cat scratches? Long sleeves… there is a reason for that name.

Do you feel my frustration?

It is powerful.

Some have mental disorders, they are not hiding that, they are not ashamed, they shouldn’t be. It is not a bad label, it is just a fact. an illness. Severe emotional rides occur, way beyond your comprehension. Some are receiving treatment, some are awaiting appointments, diagnosis.. help. some want it and can’t get it, can’t afford it, are not believed. MANY not some.


low self esteem, very low. but intelligence. oh yes, often extremely high. Beautiful people, caught in a place they don’t want to be. shouldn’t be, don’t belong or deserve to be there.

There is often no pain when they start, they feel it later, both physically and when they see the scars. The body releases natural opiates, adrenaline, and more, this numbs the pain during the infliction. Some crave that feeling. It is addicting. So hard to stop. Even when they want to.

Some will cut to prove they are alive. They are so numb, foggy.. dislocated, that pain, the sight of.. well no I am not going to say it. the cut…  the pain, provides them with a focus, so they can try to pull back into a clarity.

At the start of this post, the words Trigger Warning appear. This advises that the article may contain triggers, the urge to self harm. *nods* it happens, just from words, that desire arises. most will read on anyway. *hugs them* be strong ok?

Many healthcare providers don’t understand, they may even refuse treatment or do so with no compassion or understanding. adding so much to their dismay, such a great opportunity to reach out a hand. offer support. love. Is love so hard to share? you don’t have much so you are hoarding it?

Who cuts? Mostly young women. Not exclusively though. Numbers vary, but 10% of 14 to 15 year olds may have self cut


I would like you to watch this video. It is POWERFUL

This was made by the person below. Those are her words below the video. It is so touching. Please watch it.

Self harm Awareness.

by simplyjenngibsonn

Video I made for Tumblr, I am putting it on here, So I remember what I have done and stuff.
(all the people in this video are from Tumblr and I am grateful they were kind enough to take part )


Do you have a bit more of an understanding now?

did you cry?

Are you still judgmental? 

They don’t want to do it. They want to stop. Some do, they are so strong. How to stop?

I have some help, some things that work, to just stop is great, to say to someone, for you I am not going to do it anymore. 

not all can do that. and the pressure becomes dangerous. 

some things can be done to help relive that desire, that pull.

things that don’t cause scars.

An ice cube can be held in place, the burning pain that issues.. does not leave a scar. 

A lemon wedge in your mouth, the intense sour taste can bring you back to reality, to focus.

Taking that energy, that frustration and applying it to something else. Exercise, beating up a pillow…  something creative, music.. art.. writing. 

butterflies. That helps some you know.

you may have heard of it. 

The Rules are:
1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand.
2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. NO scrubbing it off.
4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, you’ve killed it. If you dont cut, it lives.
5. If you have more than one butterfly, cutting kills all of them.
6. Another person may draw them on you. These butterflies are extra special. Take good care of them.
7. Even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that cuts or is suffering right now, and tell them. It could help.

Reach out, tell someone, your GP, a friend. Not to share a secret with them.. but seeking help. 

you can’t stop until you want to

please want to.

Know someone that is doing this? you cant just tell them to stop, if they could, they would. it will take some time. invest it. They are worth it!


For further reading, and understanding, hopefully click here for another post on Self Harm that I did after this one. This post is a good one to show to someone, that you are trying to explain it too.


About sensuousamberville

I am a Practitioner, teacher and student. I think we should always be students, we should keep our minds open, to continue to learn. :-) Now a mother of two little ones.

20 responses »

  1. Hopes everyone that reads this blog knows that we are here, we care and you are not alone. *Gentle, loving hugs* Thank you Amber.

  2. oh Ambers that was great. I feel it too. I feel your frustration, and theirs. The sadness too. You can stop you know. If you really want to.

  3. I do not wish to say cried watching the video … there are so many … too many.

    I left a note on her blog too.

    I do not know anyone who cuts … but … knowing things …. knowing these things happen, knowing how depression can be a hereditary thing … worries me.

    The young woman who made the video … I hope with all my heart she can find her way out. I hope with all my heart.

  4. Excellent blog amber… *smiling* My step daughter was a cutter… but don’t wish to get into it.. she got help and is doing much better..

  5. I am soooooo reblogging this twice, maybe three times, maybe once a year until forever. As adept as I think I am with words I can never quite express my feelings and emotions in a practical way that helps others understand what I am experiencing. But your words here (and all their formatting) explained it exactly. So Thank You for this wonderful post 🙂

  6. Reblogged this on A Day On The Plains and commented:
    As adept as I think I am with words I can never quite express my feelings and emotions in a practical way that helps others understand what I am experiencing. But these words, on this post, explain it exactly.

    If you think I cut for attention, or to get sympathy, you are very, very wrong. Think I should just stop? Just get over it? If it were that simple I would.
    Please, PLEASE, Read this post, and think about what you say and how you react the next time you find out someone cuts or self harms.

  7. What an awesome post! As a former person who struggled with SI and has many scars years later, its awesome to see more and more people speaking out about it! I’ve started a blog dedicated to helping educate people about SI and to inspire/encourage those who struggle with SI.
    Thanks for being a voice!

  8. More understanding here than before. Thank you for sharing.x

  9. I learned so much from this. Thank you

  10. …as an (almost) old lady who knows still the swelling sanguine escape that comes in the moment we plumb our own depths, i commend you sharing this. it is so strange, to see something like cutting coming out into the light…

    …strange in a good way, as it allows young people to know that they are not alone. that there are others out there that know similar demons. that can relate to the spiral.

    -wishing you eventual contentment- 🙂


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