but.. but… but…
something feels different, something has changed…
happiness is elusive…
wait, it will pass…
soon… i hope
what I once was
what I want to be
seems so elusive to me
I was happy, I am sad
I am scared, frightened so
when will it pass, I just don’t know
tears flow so easily
with no reason it seems
I just sit there… crying out streams
It will pass, I will be alight
a little more time
and i will be fine
anger is normal
frustration brings it on
in a moment it will be gone
the whispers though
scare me so
but you wouldn’t know
shhhh, leave me alone
I will be fine
after some time
but will I?
when is it time to seek help
When is it time? What is normal? For you, or someone you care for perhaps… normal just doesn’t seem to be possible.
What is normal though, we are all unique so normal is different for each of us. What is comfortable is more the question.
Are you comfortable?
We are not happy all the time, somber or sad is alright. How long should that last?
Back to comfort, if you are questioning this, then you are not comfortable. so it is time.
Depression. Everyone can be depressed. Many things can bring this on, how long should it last. hmmmm 10 minutes. wait… don’t leave. Ten minutes of depression is enough for a lifetime. But we will all spend more time being depressed than this, of course. Maybe days, weeks… months…. longer.
So when is it time? When is it too long?
How deep is the depression? That may be something to ponder too.
Wait again, are you depressed? Can you tell? hmmm, it is not always about feeling sad, depression strikes in other ways. Chronic head aches/migraines, anger, a feeling of worthlessness, restlessness.
Depression may have a hold on you, and maybe you don’t know.
There are signs, sleep habits change, either you sleep too much or have a hard time sleeping, see it is confusing, it could be either or both.
Concentration is more difficult, you use to be able to focus on things much easier.
Headaches, bad ones, no medical reason for them. Migraines. Your doctor has sent you through a battery of tests and nothing indicates you should have them… but you do.
hallucinations, both visual and auditory are possible.
A helpless or hopeless feeling permeates, one you can’t shake, and again, there is no reason for it.
Anger, aggression irritability are your norm now.
Food is not interesting, eating is a chore, many things are, things you use to enjoy doing are no longer pursued.
You have turned to stimulants, drugs, or alcohol.
These are signs that it is time to seek some help. To go to your doctor, the first step. It is a big step, you should take it though.
Perhaps it has moved farther into you, depression.
Maybe you are having thoughts, dark thoughts, where you are feeling there is no sense going on, maybe you have moved past that and are contemplating something more permanent. IT IS TIME. RIGHT THIS SECOND. To seek help. Right now. Pick up your phone and get someone over, then see your doctor, or go to the hospital. PLEASE. I know it doesn’t seem worth it, there is no apparent hope. This is not true though. Confusion and Depression are telling you this, AND THEY ARE LYING!
Depression is not the only reason to seek help. Though many times it is one of the strongest indicators that things are not as they should be.
There are times when coping with something is not going well. Your marriage, relationship, dealing with your children perhaps. The passing of a love one is difficult to handle, seeking help with this is often a good choice.
Often an event, one that just happened, or perhaps one that happened long ago may be tormenting you. Perhaps in ways you don’t notice. Nightmares, that are probably in fact night terrors. Panic attacks, even whilst sleeping, phobias, anxiety. These things may be a part of you now. It is time to seek help.
A traumatic event occurring is often treated right away, before it has time to fester. Seeking help is not something to be ashamed of, rather something to be proud of. All too often people will witness something horrible, or be involved in something horrible and do not wish to talk about it with their friends, family, loved ones as to not upset them, or be judged. This is so wrong, but if you can’t talk to your loved ones, then seek help. When this is kept inside, bottled up, it grows into something more.
Ok, something I have not spoken of before, sexual frustration. Sex is a strong dynamic in human makeup. It is also, in all likelihood, the thing that is not talked about the most. When you decide to go to your doctor, to take that step and you manage to blurt it out.. they break out laughing at you right… OMG NO. They won’t at all. There will be no ridicule or shame, you will feel better instantly having taken that step, speaking about it. Then help can start.
There are disorders also, unfortunately many of them, you probably have looked on the internet and decided what you may have too, possibly have taken that step for treatment and are at the starting stage of diagnosis.
Perhaps that stage has not gone well in the past and you gave up.
Maybe the medications were worse and you gave up.
Perhaps you did not receive the correct diagnosis and gave up. perhaps there was more to it.
So now you deal with it on your own, but do you?
I hesitate to go into the numbers of misdiagnosis, or the treatment that, well just doesn’t work. I don’t want to dissuade you from seeking help. Or going back for help, trying again, maybe with someone new.
The internet is powerful, social media, forums, yourspace, myspace his space… People talk. You read how so many seek treatment and fail, or say they do. Perhaps they have, so you don’t bother.
How many people go to these forms to tell everyone how well their treatment has worked?
How many people, when things go well for anything go online to tell everyone how great it is?
When you buy a new radio and it is just what you wanted, do you go online to tell everyone?
When you buy a radio that is not so great… then you go online.
What I am pointing out, is people complain. When you read those posts, forums articles of failure, you are seeing a tiny percentage of what happens. So don’t give up before you try.
So what is the first step? Most will see their doctor, their GP. This is a good first step, because they need to know about treatment medications. They will check and eliminate any physical reasons for your concerns. If necessary they will know who to put you in contact with.
I could list phone numbers, web sites, but blogging is world wide now, every country will have different resources.
I am bouncing back a bit now. In case you didn’t follow instructions.
Now I am laying it out very clearly. So pay attention.
If you have thought about ending it, suicide, and are still reading, then you missed what I said.
Right now phone someone and tell them. Right now!
Go to the hospital, tell them. RIGHT NOW. I am serious.
Why? Because you are worth it. Those thoughts, feelings, they are wrong.
Don’t listen to them.
Don’t make me sad. I have lost enough loved ones that made the wrong choice.
Let’s talk. This is the wave that is becoming a tidal wave.
It is time. Be a part of it. Seek help or help. Look around.
Let people know. Stop hiding and fading away in shadows.
Stop trying to cope on your own. Share your concerns, your thoughts.
can’t, don’t want to, don’t have time, I can deal with it…
NO YOU CAN’T
now, look around you. one out of five suffer from mental health issues… someone you know well is. Have You Tried To Talk To Them?
Look, Learn, Listen.
Help. Understand. Support.