Have you ever searched url …… Googled it?

no? really?     Blogging-For-Beginners-Question

I bet you have. I typed why in the search bar for google and received over two billion results. Bing only had some 90 million. Now I haven’t read them all yet, so I can’t comment on the difference, perhaps that could be a search term?

We are an inquisitive lot.

Of course in philosophy the answer is why not. Simple yes?

Sort of a cop out though, too easy an answer.

Why me is asked in life a lot, there is no easy answer for this. Why not is just not appropriate an answer.

Why hunger, why nerds are unpopular, why poverty.. these   are top in the results, farther down why God..  and  Why gender equality stalled.

How did it start?



Why (2)

We can become overwhelmed in life, it happens often.

For some of us, it happens daily. The ability to cope eludes us.

Life hands out more challenges.

There are times this is so. Life can be cruel sometimes.

Beautiful other times.

When it is cruel, do all the beautiful things vanish?

We don’t see them… so are they gone?

Time for an analogy. They can be fun.

Life is a bowl of cherries. cherries The sweet fruit so flavourful (I don’t want to hear …..”I don’t like cherries) ((sheish)).

But there are pits too. Not nice, hurt if you bite on one, you have to pull them out and cast them aside.

some have more pits in their bowl… life is like that.

There are cherries, but they are hidden by the pits… they see the pits and start to fear them, there are so many, it is such hard work to get a cherry.

They seem to grow, you push them aside and see more, you see them when you dream and blink…

The bowl starts to overflow, the pits surround you.  Cherry_Pits.jpg_250x250

You see the odd cherry but it is being swarmed by the pits.

Your focus is wrong.

Look at the cherry.

Take that one cherry and savor it. images (1)

Look there is another, push the pits away. take that one.

We can’t do anything about the pits, they are a part of the cherries. We have no control over them.

If we think of pits only they will be there, if we think of the cherries only, the pits are still there. But there are cherries too. Take the cherries, push the pits away, plant them. We can’t have the cherries without the pits. We have no control over the pits, we can not do anything about them.

Change your focus. Those terrible days, the good is still around us. We are not looking at it.

Perhaps we are depressed… what do we do? We surf blogs? about depression…. and see others are depressed… does that help us? to know others are depressed? or does it help mire us deeper in depression?

We are covered with our comfy blankie, hiding from the world. There is nice tea in the pantry, we love it….. but hide under the blankie.

The sun is out, birds are singing. It used to cheer us up… not now? no. we listen to sad music

It could though, a tiny bit, those singing birds, that tea…. Maybe a cup of that nice tea and a short walk…. let the sun warm our face and the birds sing to us.

It won’t help.

hmmmmm, are you sure?

The blankie is not going to help. The sad music… that will not either.

sometimes the gloom is brighter than the sun, it covers it with its brilliant darkness.

There are cherries in the bowl, sometimes we need to look for them a bit.

Once we remember what they look like, the search becomes easier.

we start to find more of them, soon we see there are more cherries than we thought.

We can feed our gloom, it is easy to do.

We can focus on the things we can not change… and they will not change

we can give up, it is easy to do

Or we can FIGHT

Fight for ourselves.

take tiny steps… each one becomes easier.

make a cup of tea

sing back to the birds… even if you don’t know the words…. even if you don’t want to.


Why Not?

We have in our power, the ability to make depression leave. The start, the first steps, they are torturous. They seem unrewarding. Impossible. Why bother. It won’t work… you don’t know... leave me alone


I am not trying to motivate you. You can not motivate someone. It is not possible. You have to motivate yourself. I can give you tools.. I can not do it. You have to. But it comes from within. Within you.

Look for the cherries, you can enjoy them… the pits, they will be there, you can’t change this. Know you can’t change this, adapt…. wait you can plant them, make more cherries.



About sensuousamberville

I am a Practitioner, teacher and student. I think we should always be students, we should keep our minds open, to continue to learn. :-) Now a mother of two little ones.

14 responses »

  1. I ‘Liked’ this … I ‘Liked’ this because you are talking about me …the success story.

    But not only me. There are others. I KNOW there are others.

    So people know … I pulled inside myself. I read things that were sad. I WROTE many sad things. I thought it was helping? Did it? Maybe….a little. But then, as you say Amber, it started to feed on itself.

    To this day, if I read too many things on sadness…if I write too many things …it starts to plull me in to its negative world. (You made me see how this was affecting me Amber…thank you…for showing me things I had not known I was doing to sabotage myself.)

    It is HARD to try other wise. But….you HAVE to try.

    I had great support. Therapy. Meds even. And friends. But in the end, I had to be the one to say, ‘No more’. I had to reach out and say to someone, ‘Help me’.

    And I am glad I did.

    • Wow, you sound like me! I also think about sad stuff, write about sad stuff, listen to sad music, watch the sad news we get, etc. Of course it’s not helping me at all, it feeds within itself. You’re right, you have to try… very very hard. Sometimes you need that support (my support is similar to yours) but it’s a step in the right direction. We are all a work in progress….

      • Nods *gentle smile* … it is great that support yes? It makes you want to try harder…and we WILL keep getting better and better.

        I hope you are finding things to smile about today (and tomorrow…and the next tomorrow…)

    • There are others. 🙂

      I am glad that you did too Katie. You listened and tried. As hard as it is to do. But when you do, you win. *hugs*

  2. I am going to write something happy…damn it yes I will!!! 🙂 xx (In the hope to cheer others)

  3. I like the part about singing back to the birds, that sounds really sweet.

  4. This is really great to read. Something I need to remember. All I want to do when I’m anxious is sleep because it feels like the only reprieve. But maybe I need to start getting out and appreciating life more. Even the small things will eventually build up into a big good thing if you let them.

    • Remember the saying… you are what you eat?

      well you are what you surround yourself with too. Gloom spreads just like happy things. We have a choice with what we surround our selves with. Gloom may always be there, but we don’t have to focus on it. Just wave at it now and then.


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