The teenage mind… is it normal?

I am revisiting a topic.

The mind is tricky. We know this. The mind of a teenager is trickier.


Because, though a teenager knows everything, much more than a parent… their mind is still developing, learning, adusting. There is no real “norm” yet, so when things are not clicking along as they perhaps should be, they may not know.

Depression may be their norm.

Anxiety may be their norm.

Anger, frustration, dark thoughts… dark actions.

Turning to self harm to cope with those feelings, thoughts, becomes their norm.

suicide attempts become their norm.



So I see more than the average person, more suffering, more teens that should seek help, when they finally do, when I see them their “norm” is ingrained deeper. In “blog land” I see a lot too. Teens reaching out for help.  Reaching but not seen.

So how does it get to that stage?

help is there



I have discussed this before, teens suffering with mental health issues. Alone.

How it is dismissed or not recognized.

I have seen teens with parents that have medical backgrounds, close family members that are in the mental health profession… suffering and suffering with out anyone knowing.

Bad parents?


bad teenagers?


but what is normal for a developing mind?

How can the mind become tormented?

There is no easy answer for this. Trauma of course can and will do so. Some minds are more susceptible to this.

Abuse, sexual or not, is often the trauma that will be the cause.

But this is not what I am rambling on about now.

What I see, when discussing with a teenager, why they did not seek help, to speak out.. is a common sort of answer.

Mostly they did not want to “rock the boat” to become watched, to disturb, to have a label.

so they suffer alone.

but they suffer.

They so do not need to suffer. You so do not need to suffer.

Self esteem is the culprit often. When the health of the mind is suffering, self esteem is lower. It is hard to talk to someone about this. Your self worth is lower, you do not feel that you are “worth” bothering with. So you don’t draw attention to yourself.

Often parents or guardians know they have suffered, perhaps slipping it into a “growing thing”, “acting out” or other things. I mean most people don’t think of other things. It is not stigma, it is just.. well that can’t happen to us.

so they are depressed, they will snap out of it.

yes they self harmed, but they do not do that any more…  do they? pssst, most will promise to stop… but stopping is very hard to do. not when the mind is still tormented.

So this post is for the teenagers. The ones suffering but not wanting to talk. suffering alone. Turning to blogging, as this is how you may find this post, to seek others that feel as you do, perhaps to find answers, to feel better. 

What you feel, the depression, the anxiety, nightmares.. the not being able to sleep. The panic attacks, those dark thoughts that invade your mind. The voices you may hear… or any of these things. You do not need to suffer with this, but alone you will.

it is hard to deal with this alone, to make it go away.

If you speak out, ask for help, all of this can go away, but if you don’t let people know, people that can help you, it may get worse. I am not trying to alarm you.  or maybe I am. What I am trying to do, is make you realize, that with help, you can return to what you once were, the happy person that you pretend to be now.

See you pretend to be happy… hide the truth, so help… it can’t find you You put on that happy face.. whilst on the inside you are so tormented.

So who do you talk to? Or perhaps you have already done so but the message did not get through.

The first step is parents or guardians. This may not always go well or you may not feel right with this.

At school, talk to your guidance counselors. They are on your side you know. Even a teacher, even that teacher that you hate so much and is so mean. You may be shocked when they bend over backwards to help you.

Your family doctor is a great step.

I know, you do not wish to bother your parent/s  or guardians with this, they have enough to deal with on their own. You are important though. Very important. They in all likelihood know that you are not yourself, but do not know you are suffering.  You need to tell them.

I know you just want it to stop, to be like you were before with no depression or no anxiety. You can be again though. You can!

So this is the hard part, to make it known. 

or deal with it on your own, until it becomes too much. There is no need to put this off, to deal with it on your own. You are not going to be locked away, labeled “crazy”.. people are not going to point at you and whisper.

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT that you may feel this way, you have done nothing wrong. Let people help you.

you are worried perhaps.

so you have read how someone has gone to the hospital, to ask for help, and were locked up.

yes, this happens sometimes. When someone is in a very dark place and there is concern their mind is going to tell them to do things that can not be undone.

before you freak, lets talk about this for a tiny bit.

Most countries have a three day hold policy, where if it is suspected that the person may harm themselves, or possibly but rarely, others, they will stay in the hospital for evaluation. Yes they don’t want to be there. There may be times that this hold can be unfair. The people that invoke it, perhaps shouldn’t have. There are other times though, where it can save a person, save their life.

It is hard to sign those forms, to place someone, against their will, in the hospital. There are times then the three days stretch too.  So they can be treated.

The person will rant and yell at you.

but also, many times, later they may thank you, thank you for saving their life. Restoring them. I have been thanked. I have been yelled at too. 

so now I have really freaked you out, sorry I did not want to do that. You are not going to be locked away. If you see your family doctor, this is the first step, they may prescribe some medication for you right away, they may recommend that you see someone more specialized to help more. The same way they would if you went in for tummy problems, they may give you pills to help you feel better and send you to someone to have a closer look, to fix your tummy problems.

See the mind is like any other part of your body, sometimes it needs attention too. It is quite normal. You are not weird, strange or different. just hurting.

How do you start to tell someone, this can be hard to do. you blog though, so you can write… write it down, like a blog post. how you feel, what torments you, be honest, let them read it. 

You so don’t need to be suffering, this can be stopped.

Let me ask you this. Your loved one, Mom or Dad, Uncle or Aunt, Grandparent, if their speaking to you would save their life, save their mind, would it bother you if they did so? if they confided in you how depression was bothering them? Say you could help, you knew what to do, would it bother you if they came to you for help?



go to them, let them help you. take that first step. it will be ok. 

let someone help.




About sensuousamberville

I am a Practitioner, teacher and student. I think we should always be students, we should keep our minds open, to continue to learn. :-) Now a mother of two little ones.

2 responses »

  1. Learned a lot Amber, I hear about teenage anxiety, depression and suicide all the time. I have young girls who will be teenagers pretty soon and I need to be that parent they can come to, if they should need my help. I am very alert to the mind and everything that goes on within, it is ingrained for I was raised a Buddhist and therefore, mind is always emphasized in the way we live life. It is not for everyone, it is just my philosophy… Rambling on 🙂 because the mind is so tricky, I need to be more aware of what’s going on, a listener first, not a fixer… Hmmmm… So thought provoking.


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