please save me

tw-sign6 (1) (Small)

Whilst memories are strong and emotions high

for I can not sleep

a disjointed post, because it is hard to write

I was not going to write of this, but perhaps it will help

Severe triggering warning. 

A ride along

the panicked call had been placed

Do you know how the siren stirs adrenaline?


knowing time is short the drive seems forever

Saturday afternoon traffic dawdling along

the driver twisting and maneuvering through stalled traffic

we are here, the door is open… a screaming mother motioning frantically

the EMT’s load up, gear and stretcher

unencumbered, I charge in,  at the top of the stairs another scream….

up here…. she is in the bathroom

steps skipped, two, three I don’t know

dashing in, heart pounding, a scene I have seen before, sadly

She is in the bathtub, motionless, but so pale.. I am scared

like the last time I jump in, but this time she is not thrashing and fighting

last time I had to sit on top, to keep them still

not this time

it didn’t just happen… it so didn’t just happen

locating the wrist is not hard, so much blood

a quick look and nothing is embedded in it.

my hand closes over the cut, squeezing tightly, hoping so much

the flow now stopped

The EMT’s catch up, see what I have done…. “stay there”

I know

eyes flutter.. I have hope

a whisper… oh so quiet

“save me please”

The last whisper

there will be no more

for we did not

second thoughts

but it was too late

it should never be too late

“save me please”

if only those words were spoken sooner

even days


if only

Today, a day of frustration

Migraines and remorse

Tomorrow a visit to the family

a mother, sister and brother

who are torn beyond belief

it will be a difficult visit

but one is gone, because she was not saved

perhaps I will save another

So this I ask, implore to you

look at your children, sisters and brothers

I mean, really look

look at your mothers and fathers

aunts and uncles


and friends

look at yourself

because one of them needs saving too

I know the numbers

One of them does.

Save them please.

or save yourself




About sensuousamberville

I am a Practitioner, teacher and student. I think we should always be students, we should keep our minds open, to continue to learn. :-) Now a mother of two little ones.

7 responses »

  1. Moved me so much, brought me pain with a visual, but an understanding as well..

    Have many more of your lovely posts to catch up on… Have missed commenting.

  2. Well said. Most people fail to see suicide is the last rational act to an irrational set of reality. It’s that last attempt to end the pain. It’s a sad and horrible place to be when suicide seems rational. They do indeed need help, many are afraid or unaware of how to ask for it. Sometimes it takes someone willing to step into the pain to remind them “I am here, you’re not alone”.

    Thanks for loving, sharing and caring.

    • Many have asked for it and not received it either, often though, as you pointed out, they are not clear when they ask, many do not understand and fail to see the signs. We can be in a crowd and yet alone. We all need to be more aware so we can reach back, when they reach out.

      *puts away my soapbox*


  3. Reblogged this on Amber keeps breathing and commented:
    My blogger friend wrote this and absolutely touched me in every way possible. I have chills.


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