Who are you?



This is something that I run across more and more often. Who am I… this is not me, I am not like this, I wasn’t like this before, who am I, where did I go.

We often struggle with the question, who am I. It starts very early in age, then it is am I mommies favorite, am I your friend, later it can progress to much stronger issues.

These are more simple questions, but some will linger in the mind and fester too, as some struggle more with who are they. Sexual orientation will often play into this search for who am I at an early age, and the struggles as you try to sort that out.

I will meet with someone and ask this, who are you…. sometimes, because of where we are when I ask, I will receive the answer, I am Becky and I am bipolar…. or many other things.

But that is not true. oh yes she may be Becky, she may struggle at times with bipolar disorder, she is not bipolar though, her struggles may define her, they may help to make her who she is, but they are not her, she is not it. But these are semantics, playing with words.


Often I will see someone ask me, who am i, this is not me. Today I spent most of the morning with someone that decided they did not want to be them any longer.  I wanted their visit to the hospital to be their decision, I dislike forcing this visit on them as much as they dislike not having a choice… it would have gone this way if necessary, I am very convincing though, so we talked about the benefits to such a stay. We, of course also discussed the parts of the visit that would be not so nice, and what may and would follow such a visit, what their friends and family would think. This was good though as he was looking ahead now. He is struggling with who is he though. 

who are you, who who.

Identity disorders make one struggle with this much more, who am I, but self esteem issues will make this struggle more difficult too.  As we struggle to discover who we are, we can sometimes weaken ourselves, lower our self esteem and struggle more.

This occurs after divorce too, this struggle with who am i, before they were a team, now as a single entity, they are often unsure who they are.

Who we are is often a perception, are we skinny, are we hmm not. do we see ourselves as overweight and spend much time struggling with this.

who are you, an ever changing you, we are not the same as we were last year, we adapt and adjust, our self perception adjusts. most of the time.

It is really rather complex. I ask the question often though, because someones perception of who they are will indicate much toward where they want to be, and provide a path on how to get there, just from a three word question.







About sensuousamberville

I am a Practitioner, teacher and student. I think we should always be students, we should keep our minds open, to continue to learn. :-) Now a mother of two little ones.

14 responses »

  1. Such a wonderful post Amber. I’ve been hiding – *sighing heavily*
    But I read, and your posts always stimulate my mind. I watch the labelling, the struggles… I don’t do this it or I don’t do that, I’m not this and I’m not that. I’m close to someone who has told me what it is like to want to run, to want to define or box oneself into this is who I am…
    Even using the label “I” fascinates me – have learned much. Thank you.

    Pssst, how is the beautiful R keeping?

    • Hiding? hmmmm I will get a flashlight and start hunting for you 🙂

      R is amazing, Some days are of course hard.

      • I’m under my bed, looking for my lost muse.. No wait!! I’m now in my reading chair covered in a blanket…. Cannot write.. But want to… I have too much to do. Taking a looong trip home to see my mom … Not organized aaaargh!

        So happy R is doing so well. I think of her gorgeous mum so often. Could you give her a hug from me. She does not know me, but I think of her too.

      • darkravengirl14

        u know my mom. that makes me happy. I am doing ok. ty for remembering my mom.

      • I told you she was amazing. 🙂

  2. I think I fall into the ever changing category, we all struggle though to a degree of who we are or what we perceive of ourselves. Interesting post, you must be busy, you haven’t been here for a little while.i shall also ask like beautiful MM, have you spoken to R? xx

  3. Wonderful post! For me – to be ever evolving is my ultimate goal. I think that if we can continue to look at ourselves from both the subjective and objective perspectives then we will truly evolve. Be well. ~Karen~

  4. This is a great post and an apropos song. We change all the time and but sometimes it is all about adapting and accepting and making those changes. Divorce can be hard, but sometimes necessary, and very necessary to save one’s self. Much as MM ans ROM have asked, I too have been curious.
    I was going to email and ask how R was doing. Good to hear she is well. Is she traveling this summer? Just curious.

    • She has plans to travel this summer. To an irish wedding that will grant Katie many smiles when her brother gives R another aunt. You may also email at any time. 🙂

      R just asked me to thank all of you for remembering K…. and for caring about her also.

      • darkravengirl14

        my uncle Mike is getting married and she came to help look afer my mom. thank u for asking how I am doing. I am doing well.

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