Today… Is another one of those “Days”


 Wednesday, September 10

World Suicide Prevention Day 2014

We seem to have “days” for a lot of things now. A day to stop bullying, Mental awareness day, Causal Friday, pancake Tuesday…


I am not trying to belittle this, though. To bring awareness is one of the steps to removing the stigma. If having a day causes someone to read a blog, and rethink a decision… then these days are grand to have. 

With so many, they become muddled, treated with disdain, why are you wearing a pink shirt today… Why is that ribbon on your car, but people ask. 

So this is why we have those days.

Why is there only one day that is World Suicide Prevention day? For me, this is every day. But then I have seen more than my share of attempts, I have intervened directly in some, I have intercepted ones that I felt were fast approaching also. I know I will see more, I wish that this was not so.

Today Cat posted two lines on his blog, you can read  Cats Post here that I wish to share.

“Back then, every turn was met by another brick wall. I’m not exactly sure what changed or when, and neither can I say there is light at the end of the tunnel, but at least there is a tunnel.”

It is hard to see that tunnel sometimes, that tomorrow, the one that may finally be a bit better. We must always look down the tunnel though, allow for that tomorrow.


Because of this next bit I am also borrowing from Cat.


“Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco is well known for its suicides. Its massive height of 756feet almost guarantees few survivors. Without a doubt, the leap over the edge is most certainly that final decision.

Up until last year, out of more than 1,500 people to jump, only 34 survived. More than 50% of them said they instantly regretted jumping. Half way down, they suddenly realised there was in fact another option.  I cannot help but think of those who took that final thought to their graves.


I  am finishing this post with a reblog of a post I did not too long ago. Because if reading it gives a tiny flicker, to someone that is thinking.. If it makes someone abort a decision, to rethink, to wait for tomorrow, I will be happy.

I was at the hospital when a call came in, I was asked to ride along, we did not know how far things had progressed, it was hoped, not this far.




please save me

tw-sign6 (1) (Small)

Whilst memories are strong and emotions high

for I can not sleep

a disjointed post, because it is hard to write

I was not going to write of this, but perhaps it will help

Severe triggering warning. 

A ride along

the panicked call had been placed

Do you know how the siren stirs adrenaline?


knowing time is short the drive seems forever

Saturday afternoon traffic dawdling along

the driver twisting and maneuvering through stalled traffic

we are here, the door is open… a screaming mother motioning frantically

the EMT’s load up, gear and stretcher

unencumbered, I charge in,  at the top of the stairs another scream….

up here…. she is in the bathroom

steps skipped, two, three I don’t know

dashing in, heart pounding, a scene I have seen before, sadly

She is in the bathtub, motionless, but so pale.. I am scared

like the last time I jump in, but this time she is not thrashing and fighting

last time I had to sit on top, to keep them still

not this time

it didn’t just happen… it so didn’t just happen

locating the wrist is not hard, so much blood

a quick look and nothing is embedded in it.

my hand closes over the cut, squeezing tightly, hoping so much

the flow now stopped

The EMT’s catch up, see what I have done…. “stay there”

I know

eyes flutter.. I have hope

a whisper… oh so quiet

“save me please”

The last whisper

there will be no more

for we did not

second thoughts

but it was too late

it should never be too late

“save me please”

if only those words were spoken sooner

even days


if only

Today, a day of frustration

Migraines and remorse

Tomorrow a visit to the family

a mother, sister and brother

who are torn beyond belief

it will be a difficult visit

but one is gone, because she was not saved

perhaps I will save another

So this I ask, implore to you

look at your children, sisters and brothers

I mean, really look

look at your mothers and fathers

aunts and uncles


and friends

look at yourself

because one of them needs saving too

I know the numbers

One of them does.

Save them please.

or save yourself



The post that followed this was Today





About sensuousamberville

I am a Practitioner, teacher and student. I think we should always be students, we should keep our minds open, to continue to learn. :-) Now a mother of two little ones.

5 responses »

  1. Thank you for all you do Amber. Sends the biggest and most special of sincere *hugs*. You are inspirational for all of us. I can only imagine how difficult the day you described above truly was. I am not sure I could be as strong as you, but hope I could be. God bless you!

    • It is not so much being strong or inspiring, you just do what you have to in the situation. Unfortunately practice makes you better at it. Later on though, when you catch up with your heart beat….


  2. Thanks for the mention, Amber. It’s never an easy subject to write about, especially when we have been at that door….peace!

  3. Just a warm hug for you ((xx))


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