Category Archives: memories

Too busy for dreams

 

Recently I read a blog post, where the author  had a dream. A dream of the day when her children would… well not be children, I am sure this is something often thought of by parents, when your child takes their plates from the table to the kitchen, hangs up their coat, does their homework, sorts their clothes in the laundry…. well manages to put them in the hamper.  Where you look in their room and it doesn’t look like a puppy was chasing a kitten for a few hours.  Children though, have a very busy schedule and there is often not time for all of these things. There may be a video game that is calling out, or a text to answer. A window to stare out of or a bike to ride. So these dreams are felt by many, I am sure.

I can see that day coming,  where it is a dream for me as well. Maybe.
 
Right now I smile when I see the socks trying to escape the room all by themselves, or the three shoes by the door.. where is the other one?… toothpaste that they promised they put on the toothbrush.. but is on the counter instead or as well?  hmm.
 
Now though, this is all a sign of normalization for me, to see these signs of a child that has a busy schedule. For me this means that our two little ones are acclimating to their abrupt change of life.  That they are not living on eggshells, afraid to do anything wrong in fear of being “sent away”. That they are feeling more  that this is their home now.  They belong.  Then again, it is new for us as well, the sudden onslaught of two little ones in our lives, so these things are a part of it, and sometimes we giggle when we see a tiny hand print on the window or the  tap… still running. I am sure that it won’t take long though, before exasperation replaces giggles. Maybe. 
 
Right now these are good signs. They do try, how long that will last though, I wonder.  They want to impress us, maybe it will form habits? That will last? It will be interesting to see. They see how we do things and are eager to copy, they want things to be right, because they want to stay. There is that fear. We are working all the time to replace that fear with comfort, they are starting to get it. They are starting to understand that they need have no fear of being sent away, they are a part of us now. It is happening, this realization. 
 
We are living on eggshells as well, trying to anticipate foods they will like, when they say blech, it is ok we are learning from each other, avoiding scolding. All that will come, in time. Now we try to show how we do things, ask if they think it is a good way to do something, watch when their little faces scrunch up as they ponder that. We are learning too, I am still sort of sure socks don’t come in packs of three… but I could be mistaken. Maybe it is magic, elves like socks, I remember that from Harry Potter. 
 
Right now I love when I call out… did you brush your teeth and they go ahhhhhhhhhhh. But they go back and do it.   But mommy I was in a hurry.
 
 See? Busy.
 
Our Little girl turned five, we had a series of parties on the weekend. We do celebrate birthdays in a big way, it is our family thing, usually three parties, one for the four of us, now six, one for friends and one for family, the ones that don’t live with us lol. So both of our little ones have seen the party weekends now as they both have had their series of parties. Parties with us. With their new friends and with their new family. Aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents, they have great grand parents now too. They are skyping with their grandparents, sometimes they have two laptops open and two conversations going.  Often a few times a day, it is cute to watch. The grandparents are giving away secrets though. lol.
 
See? too busy to find that missing sock.
 
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I am back.

Vacations end. blech. lol, we had a lot of fun though. Aimee configured her auto response on her email to say…. I am either singing, laughing, swimming, flying, eating, floating, boating or relaxing in a hammock. I am on vacation! See you next week.

And that is just what we did. The week zoomed by!

Long canoe rides early in the morning when the lake was still misty. The fish were jumping and doing tricks in the air, the loons were singing off in the distance.

Campfires by the shore listening to the loons call some more. I think they got closer when we sang.

Some great meals, well all of them were great! We boated to a corn stand that was beside the road down the lake a bit, the corn was amazing as usual, it is handy we can boat to it.

We flew to a resort for an amazing brunch, it was so relaxing and the lake was like glass, it was so beautiful. They gave us a table that overlooked the lake, the view was magnificent. 

A night of rain, listening to it patter on the roof. It didn’t do any pittering,…

We swam early in the morning, in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening and at night, the water kept calling to us. Between swims we relaxed in hammocks by the lake shore and watched nature swim by, a family of ducks kept us amused as mom would push them along to keep them in a group, daddy duck was off doing manly duck things. A loon took to standing on a rock close to where we were sitting, vanishing every once and a while to fish, then returning to balance on the rock again. Every once and a while a blue heron would chase it away and stand on the rock. It was a very popular rock.

We flew to an adjacent province to visit family that live on a lake, for a couple of days, we surprised them as only one family member knew we were coming, We stopped on a very busy lake to fuel up as their lake is a bit tiny. Both lakes are so beautiful. We taxied a long way to their cottage and then tied up at their dock, there was a lot of squealing when they saw us deplane. It wasn’t long before there were lots of people asking for rides so they could see their home from the air. Sheish good thing we filled up our tank. It was fun though I love the excitement when someone flies for the first time, more so when they see their home or cottage from the air, the view is always different from what they expect. 

It was a wonderful week off, we liked it so much we are planning another one soon. I think I should plan two six month vacations a year, that would be just about perfect….

*****************

I forgot to add a title.

You know what to do

The stages, the feelings, you understand them, probably more than most others do.

You have experienced them, too often.

You understand how they vary.

How confusing they can be.

But you know this.

Anger, sadness, frustration… Migraines, powerful ones.

Crying

Sometimes laughing or smiling as you remember something.

Because memories are flying through your head at speeds even you are surprised at.

Memories you thought you had lost.

You hear their voice, you see their smile, you feel their hug.

And you cry again.

You try to be strong, because you know that they would want this.

They never liked to see you sad.

But

You can’t help it

even though you know

you remember the last visit you had with them

you wish there had been more

You compose poems in your mind.

Prose, praise, funny stories.

and then you cry

Sometimes you feel like your head is going to explode.

Migraines are like that.

Then you remember they had them too.

so many memories swimming by

mixing

awakening other memories, other losses.

You try to imagine them together now

Standing beside one another, watching you with a smile

And you bawl.

You know this will pass.

The pain will lessen.

fade away, replaced by the fond memories.

You will always feel them inside, you can peek there at them.

Now I will see the two of them, standing beside each other.

I know they missed each other.

They were very close.

But now it is hard.

*********

The holiday recap… or a sneaky way to combine a food post and a movie review… and another very long title.

One more party and the year is over.

Our turkey is gone, someone ate it, hmm they ate a lot of things, those moms. Four moms and a dad shared our Christmas dinner. Three of the moms stayed for a few nights, it was great. After Christmas, when the turkey seemed to vanish we tried something new, which we like to do. hmmm rhyming… oh oh.

Before Christmas we saw a movie, a big movie with small people…. with big feet. that was neat.

oh oh, it continues.

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Today is here again

Bonne Fete Papa!

tu me manques 

je pense à toi tout le temps

Je t’aimerai toujours

mon amour pour toi papa

durera jusqu’à la mer se assèche,

jusqu’à ce que les étoiles tombent du ciel

je t’aimerai jusqu’à la fin des temps

*********

Limbo

Happy Limbo Day!

wooot

 

what?

It is December 23rd …. Limbo day

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Oh, Ho, Oh

OH look at the calendar… Christmas is getting closer, the mall parking lots are becoming much harder to park in and more lights are on houses. wooot.

I saw a commercial for an upcoming T.V. special, the question was asked… How many Christmas lights are enough… the answer was something like… don’t quote me…. six hundred thousand four hundred and thirty two.

 

tacky_lights_richmond_main (Small)

now I am sure this isn’t the house in question

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