Maladaptive personality shaping from the parent.

Narcissism, this is a difficult disorder. The person is very self absorbed. Self obsessed. Selfish. A strong sense of superiority. Uniqueness, requiring praise, entitlement. Will feel no regret taking advantage of others for their own gain. Arrogant. When criticized will rebel. Empathy is not one of their tools, lying perhaps will be. Self esteem is actually quite low. Someone with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is very unlikely to seek help as they do not feel there is anything amiss with them.

Why bring this up?

What about the child of a Narcissistic Parent? Or Parents as they often attract one another.

Stigma

 

How do you describe a sunset to a person that has been blind from birth?

 

How do you sign, to a deaf person, what a child’s laugh, sounds like?

 

How can you explain the depth of anxiety someone with OCD feels, when a routine is disrupted?

 

How can you feel how deep depression can become, when you have only had a taste of it?

So you want a label, is this a good thing?

I have done posts before about diagnosis and how this can be difficult.

This post is a bit more narrow as it will deal with one disorder.

Tis a newer one in the grand scope of things, of course I am talking of BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder.

So is it hard to diagnose? Yes and no.

Is it misdiagnosed often? Unfortunately this is often the case.

Why? ahhh, now this is the question. There are answers too.

To clarify the title, I am not saying that a diagnosis is a label. In this case though, it often is.This is the stigma associated with this diagnosis. This is something we must strive to remove from our thinking. 

Cookie Cutters

I could add words, but the post speaks for itself.

MAKE BPD STIGMA-FREE!

We are not all exact cut-outs of each other.  Everyone has their own unique individual personality.  My mother-in-law keeps remarking about how our daughter and our son is so different, even though they were brought up exactly the same.  But they are not the same people!  She thinks that my brain works the same as hers, that I should do things the same way that she does, in the same time that she does, when she does, how she does.  She thinks that what works for her when she’s kind of down or stressed out should work for me too.  Sometimes it does, but not always.  I took DBT several years ago and am more in touch with my emotions than I have ever been in my entire life.  I know if something’s going to work for me or not.  I appreciate her suggestions but if something was going to…

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What Makes You…

 

please read the above post by Stacey.

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What causes mental illness?

 

wow, what a loaded question. We of course strive to discover the root causes of each “disorder”. It really is like chasing the floating dandelion seeds as they float over a field.

The reasons are many and often elusive 

Oh there are some that we can identify with, sometimes. Many will begin in childhood. The developmental years. Events can shape a child’s mind. 

Many begin before this, premature births have a higher indecent of mental illness. Genes are also contributory  factors, but with both scenarios, not at all times though. 

We continue to learn.

but do we?

we need to learn faster. No, not what causes mental health problems, but yes that would be great, we need to learn faster other things. 

When someone is struggling, we need to see this. We need to help.

not dismiss.

maybe they are not just acting out, maybe it is not just “angst” Maybe they are not attention seekers or just “quiet”

maybe we need to LOOK MORE CLOSELY

How many people are struggling, without knowing why, with a mental illness?

at any age

How many seek help.. but help is elusive, expensive or not available in their area? OMG TOO MANY

Stacey makes it clear, I think, in this post.

The Part-Time Writer

…Borderline?

This isn’t going to be a scientific piece, full of journal references and discussions about the amygdala. Once upon a time, that was the only kind of writing I did, but not today.

Not because I can’t write like that anymore; I’m sure, given time and materials to fully research the topic, I could write a reasonably professional sounding report into the causes of BPD. No – I’m not writing that type of piece because I don’t think anyone can say definitively that “this” or “that” causes BPD in people.

All I will say is that current scientific research appears to indicate that BPD “might” be caused by a genetic mutation; that it is caused by approximately 40%/60% genetic/environmental factors. I’ll go with that.

I’ve read several BPD-based blogs over the past few months and opinions differ greatly. Some people squarely put the blame on environmental factors – the unvalidating childhood…

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How to deal with someone with borderline personality disorder

I am doing an unexpected, for me, post. Sometimes with most posts I will have a plan for a few days that perhaps this is where one will go, many times I will have a draft simmering that I will finish off.. or for some they can be a recipe, or something fun… or even something that happened that caught me or my eye.

I have noticed though a search term coming up quite often. “how to deal with someone with borderline personality disorder” in my dashboard.

Not my favorite title for a blog, sort of insulting in a fashion, and this is not my intent, more to just answer the search term as I have seen it so often this past week.

When people reach out for advice, tis hard not to reply somewhat.

I would like help with this too, many of my followers have BPD, and who can offer better insight?

Everyone is different, so I am starting that way. People are people, someone that suffers with BPD… well they are no different than you, perhaps they just have some challenges to overcome. With your help too, that can be easier. It can be challenging for you as well.

Living with or working with someone that suffers with BPD can be challenging. Even difficult. It can be very rewarding too, as these people are often very very bright, creative and yes loving.

I have a short answer for that search term. Understanding. 

Sounds simple right? Here is the twist though. You will not be able to understand. Not fully. Don’t try. Accept.

For my BPD readers, I will be referring to bpd sufferers as they, them.. tis not being callous, I just don’t like to keep writing bpd sufferers. I also skip around the term borderlines. You are not borderlines, you may suffer with it, it may be a part of you, but it is not you. right? I know it is an “accepted term” Borderlines, I just don’t really like labels.

Borderline ~ Teach us how to live

This is a tough one.

Borderline Personality Disorder ~ BPD.

I have a few videos, they all may not interest everyone, some will, I feel they have a stronger impact and ability to teach… as the alternative is just my words, which you may skim over. prepare to learn.

This post is not just to provide a background on BPD for those that have none, but to show that this can be treated to the point the BPD classification is removed from the patient. WOW. 

DBT is not the only treatment with success in working with BPD, There are a few. We are developing and learning new therapies to help cope/treat. Research is ongoing, over recent years there have been large leaps.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy
Dialectical-behavioral therapy
Transference-focused therapy
Mentalization-based therapy
Schema-focused Therapy

 

With borderline, therapy is successful, medication not so much. Meds can treat some symptoms, anxiety or depression, therapy can restore the patient. 

While I hope this would not be the case,

I best include a TRIGGER WARNING. 

So which is it? ADHD, BPD, BD

I posted a while ago, or is it blogged a while ago?  … on how hard it was sometimes to provide a diagnosis. Also why some are misdiagnosed, quite often. There has to be a reason for this, it is not like the profession is inept.

So it is hard. 

oh that is an excuse for messing up?

yes.

Why?

ok, so why. Look yourself over please, point out the diagnostic port that we can plug our sensor into.  

So diagnosis is based on what you answer, provide, divulge. A lot too, is what you don’t say. Sometimes with deliberateness, you don’t really want to talk about it. It is very personal, you are ashamed, embarrassed.

Or you don’t feel it is pertinent.

To be fair too, things change, some disorders coexist, or develop later. One may go untreated.

P.T.S.D.

Four letters. 

The name has changed over the years. At first it was dismissed, thought by many as not valid. It is still dismissed today. By those that think that is not possible, and by the people suffering. 

So, perhaps you have seen these letters, or know what they are short for.